The Little Mermaid called Sanosuke
by Saemus McNally
Summary: Rated R for Language! Complete sillines and...most impotantly SAI X SA!!!


The Little Mermaid named Sanosuke  
  
BWAHA! I'm at it again! Fairy tales are fun fun fun!  
Sano:How come I'm always the victim in these stories?  
Victim? Why you always play the best character! Cause you're so cute and my favorite!  
Sano: Ahah..well, can't deny those words ahahaha  
....gullible idiot.  
Sano:What?  
Nothing! ^-^  
  


~~~~~  
Long ago, or, however long ago this story is supposed to take place, there lived under the sea a kingdom called Sekihoutai. No, not that legendary group,this is a kingdom. And not an ordinary kingdom either. Nope, this kingdom was a MERMAID kingdom. Ruled under the ever wise rule of King Sagara.  
King Sagara had two beautiful princess daughters, named Katsu and Sanosuke.  
Everyone in the kingdom loved the princesses, especially the younger of the two, Sanosuke. They loved Sanosuke because of his, um, unusual singing voice. He could sound downrght sexy at times, and completely silly at the other times. So the Sagara kingdom made a production out of it.  
Yahiko, a crab, was in charge of music direction for the show. He was so proud, in rehersal the show had come out nearly flawless. And now as the seaweed curtain raised on the show Katsu did a musical monolouge introducing his beautiful, talented sister.  
A giant clam decorated in coral was raised from the floor and opened, and Katsu pointed towards the clam, "Introduciiiiing, SANOSUKE!!!,...eh?" But Sano wasn't there.  
"WHERE'S SANO!?!" Roared the crowd and Sagara.  
  
Well, Sanosuke was obviously not at the performance. Having a memory of a goldfish, sorry goldfish, he'd forgotten all about the show and was out doing his favorite hobby. Digging around in shipwrecks looking for human trinkets.   
With his best friend at his side, a little tiny fish named Tsubame.   
He squealed with delight as he found a little peice of metal with three prongs at one end. He had seen these before, he was told that they were combs. Tsubame swam into one of the closets in the ship. She was confused at what she found so she called Sano over.  
Sano looked at the trinkets. One was a ring, but too big for a finger, another was a long cylinder thing with a curved end. It looked kind of like an eel. There were other such toys, but Sano had a bad feeling that these were not wholesome family oriented toys. Especially, since one of the jars in the room had 'LUBE' written on it. He didn't know what that was and he wasn't about to find out.  
Swimming out of that closet with Tsubame they searched over the ship again. Tsubame was getting anxious. As if something were stalking them. Sano was busying himself with prying open a desk drawer to get at a little silver booklet type thing out.  
As the drawer finally swung open a giant shark crashed through the wall behind him. He screamed, grabbed the case, and swam as fast as he could away from the shark.  
Grabbing Tsubame in one hand and his treasure bag in the other he swam through the holes in the ship trying to out maneuver the shark. This was fruitless however since the shark, who went by the name Iwanbou, smashed right THROUGH all the wood of the ship.  
A curse escaped Sano's lips as he realized what the shark was doing. Then an idea popped into his head. He swam towards the anchor of the ship and through the loop at the top of it. His guess was right when Iwanbou tried to fit it's giant head through the loop and lodged himself tightly in the anchor.  
Sano knew that the anchor would only hold the shark long enough to let him get away, so off he swam. To get the hell away from there.  
Sano and Tsubame swam up to a certain cove where their dear friend Misao, the seagull, was busy pecking at clams. "OOoii! Misao! How goes ey?" "OOOI! Sano-chan!! What's up guppy?"  
"We got more human junk we need you to tell us what is!" "That's bad english Sano-chan." "Fuck you, just tell us." "Fine, jerk. Let's see what ya got."  
Sano dumped the contents of his bag out onto the sand.  
"Hmmm. Mhmmm. Okay, this thing is another comb. And this thing...this pretty silver booky thing. Its a bubble gum case."   
"Bubblegum case?"  
"Yeah, they put their sticks of bubblegum in this and carry it around in their pockets so the gum doesn't break or get lint on it."  
"Oh....kay."  
"What else ya got?"  
Sano pulled out a long, thin, slightly curved peice of metal, with a flat disk like thing separating it from a wooden handle. Let's not worry how it fit into the bag, 'kay?  
"Hmmm, this is a.....a Gondolier pole!"  
"A gondolier pole? Wassat?"  
"It's what those boat drivers use on the rivers. They stick this thing into the water and use it to push against the ground so the boat goes in the right direction"  
"AH COOL!"  
"Anything else?"  
Sano pulled out two soggy peices of cloth shaped like hands. He set them down on the sand in front of Misao who pecked at them with her beak.  
"Oh big challenge here Guppy. These are gloves. They go over hands."  
"What for?"  
"A...I dunno."  
"Great help you are."  
"Oh shut up!"  
"Anou, Sano-chan..."  
Sano flipped himself around so he could look at his fishy companion. Tsubame was getting fidgety. "Sano-chan, I think we should be home now...."  
The princess tilted his head to the side. "Nwaaa FUCK A DUCK! I forgot I was supposed to sing today. Papa will be mad....SHIIIIIIT!!!! GottagobyeBirdy"  
"Bye guppy"  
  
Sano swam as fast as he could back to Sekihoutai. Little did this pretty pretty princess know, that he was being watched. By evil purple eyes.  
Eyes belonging to the powerful sea witch Himura. Who lounged in his lair with his two eel companions, Megumi and Kaoru. A sinister smile formed on the lips of the seawitch.  
  
"The entire kingdom was here to see you! And where were you!? Whoring around in a HUMAN shipwreck looking for HUMAN CRAP!!!"  
"But Papa..."  
"SHADDUP! You stay away from human crap!! Humans are evil filthy creatures who'd eat you alive if they had the chance to catch us!"  
"Papa they wou-"  
"DOES SUSHI RING A BELL!? Fillet o fish!? Joe's CRAB SHACK!?"  
"....Papa you're being silly..."  
"AM I!? NO HUMAN'S FOR YOU!"  
"Oh bah...fuck this I'm going to my room"  
Sagara watched his daughter leave the room and sighed. "What the hell am I gonna do with that one? He's so.....queer. Doesn't behave himself like Katsu."  
Yahiko, who had been sitting at Sagara's side the entire time, and still fidgeting about hearing Joe's Crab Shack, piped in,"He probably needs someone to keep an eye on him. You know. To keep him on track."  
"Brilliant idea Yahiko. Get on that right now."  
"I'll find someone instantly your highness."  
"I meant you"  
"Oh fudge..."  
  
Yahiko trailed Sano to his room, muttering about how pitiful his life is because this stupid mermaid was nucking futs. He slid open the door to Sano's room just a crack, he nearly plotzed at what he saw. Sano was sitting in his groovy mermaidbed, with a human crown on his head, pearls trailed and wrapped all around him. Bracelets on his arms with human rings on his fingers. Loads of human crap surrounding him. All this wasn't so shocking as what was in Sano's arms.  
He had a statue in his arms, that looked very much like a thirty some odd year old prince with thin gold eyes. Sano was busy making out with the statue as best he could, considering it wasn't playing back. Tsubame swam around in the corner of the room dancing with a music box ballerina.  
Yahiko wanted to scream, but before he could Tsubame had the proverbial light bulb go off. She swam to Sano and finally got him to stop making out with the statue. She whispered something into his ear, to which he leapt up from his bed, took off his jewelry and swam out his window with Tsubame close following.  
Yahiko followed them as fast as he could but he just doesn't swim as fast as fish. He is a crab remember?  
  
The secret Tsubame had told Sano was that a Royal cruise ship was out in the waters today and would still be there no doubt, partying away.  
And partying away it WAS! Prince Hajime was having fun on ship, gambling with his friends, Chou and Okita. Watching them sing randy songs about women they've 'conquered'. Everyone just having one helluva time. Nobody noticed they were being watched by a pretty young mermaid. Or that horrible storm clouds were gathering like a rash on a bottom. Not even Sano noticed.  
Sano was far to busy being infatuated with the Prince. He had gold eyes. Just like his statue playmate! Boy was he a randy little fish.   
Apparantly, it was the Prince's birthday, which Sano got from the big banner strung across the ship saying 'Happy Birthday Hajime-sama'.  
Everyone,Sano included, was so caught up in the festivities that when the bolt of lightning screeched across the sky everyone jumped as high as Roketto Dan.  
The ship was thrown around in the water and knocked Sano off the side and back into the water. He watched the action unfold from the safety of the water.  
Another great bolt of lighting had streaked its way down from the sky with angry fury of Jupiter and struck the ship. The wooden mast was set aflame instantly. The crew and guests on the ship ran for the life boats and piled in as it was lowered to the water. Hajime was the last to get on, but noticed that his dear friend Okita wasn't aboard the life boat. He scanned the deck and saw Okita laying face down on the wooden floor. One of the thick sail ropes had swung and hit Okita in the back of the head sending him unconcious. Hajime picked up Okita and lowered him into the life boat.  
Suddenly, another great hand of the gods came down and smashed the boat in two. Hajime flew into the water far from the life boat. Sano screeched as he saw the handsome prince fall to what would definetely be his fate. NOT WITH SANOSUKE ON THE JOB!  
Sano dove as Hajime sank to the depths of the ocean. Grasping him around the chest he pulled Hajime up to surface and onto shore.  
He looked down at the man. He nearly had a heart attack. "AAAAH FUCK A DUCK!! THE GUY'S DEAD! BWAAAAH!!! WHAT TO DO!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!! DON'T DIE DUDE!! GAAAAH!!" So he put his lips onto Hajime's and began to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Okay so its a long time ago, but lets pretend mermaids know this kinda stuff 'kay?  
With a hack and a spit Hajime spat up the sea water and tried to pry his eyes open. He vaguely saw a form of a young man screaming profanities of victory. "YES! OH FUCK YES! I AM A GOD!! FUCKIN...FUCK OUT!! YEAH!!! SUNUVABITCH IS ALIVE!! HOOHAH!!" He couldn't stay awake though and Hajime conked out.  
Sano looked at Hajime and then a stupid cheesy grin came over his face. He looked exactly like the make-out statue. He was just about to play with Hajime the same way he plays with his statue until he heard a familiar cry. "SAAAANOOOOO-CHAAAAAAAAAN!!!"  
He groaned but flashed his birdy friend a smile. "OI BIRDY BIRD!"   
"OI GUPPY! Hey, whatchya playing with this human for?"   
"HA HA!! I saved his life! Isn't that cool!?"  
"Yeah, I guess. He's kinda old though... He kinda looks like a mantis."  
"HEY SHUT UP! He's beautiful!"  
"Y'sure ya didn't hit y'r head?"  
"He's better looking than that sea eagle Aoshi you love"  
"YOU LEAVE HIM OUTTA THIS!"  
Sano snickered but was cut short when one of Hajime's friends, Chou, was searching around on the beach looking for the lost prince. He jumped back into the water and swam off. Misao grumped,"Fucker, didn't even say g'bye" then she flew off before the broom headed bloke found the prince.  
  
"UUUWAHAHAHAAAA!!!! I saaaved hiiiim. I'm the COOOOOLEST! UWahahahahaha!" Sano was cheering himself on the whole way back to the Sekihoutai, with Tsubame swimming along behind him, grinning the whole while. Sano headed back to his room and slid the door open. Only to find Katsu and King Sagara in the room. They turned their angry glares to Sano. "You're a BAD Princess Sanosuke!" Sagara roared. Katsu was nearly hopping up and down, "Now papa!? NOW!? NOW CAN I!?" "Yes Katsu, go ahead, blow up all this human stuff."   
"NOOOO!" Sano screamed.  
"Shut up boy! I told you no human shit in my castle!" Sagara calmly glared at Sano holding him back only with his eyes.  
Katsu pulled little round explosives out from his jacket and threw them around the room. Then he ducked down and plugged his ears, as did everyone else in the room.  
BOOM BOOM KABOOM SMASH CRASH CLINK BANG! All the pretty human stuff was destroyed. Sagara and Katsu swam by Sano who was on the floor of his room amongst the rubble of his precious treasures. He looked down at his daughter. "Maybe this will teach you a lesson you really need to learn." Sano didn't look up or speak at King Sagara. The older princess and king left Sano all by his lonesome.  
  
He sat in his room for Buddha knows how long. He hardly noticed two evil presences slithering up to him. Kaoru and Megumi, the two eels of Kenshin the sea witch, made their slimy ways to Sano.  
"GABLAH! Who are you?"  
"You look.......distraught young one....." hissed Megumi.  
"Seeking the one you love but can't have....we can see it in thine eyes..." hissed Kaoru.  
"Hold on wait a second Kaoru....why are you talking like a Shakspearean actor?" bitched Megumi.  
"I was setting mood!" barked Kaoru.  
"Mood my ass! You sounded stupid!"   
"You LOOK stupid!"  
"Oh good come back ya wank!"  
"Anou..."  
The two eels reeled their heads around at the princess who was looking at them cockeyed. "WHAT!" they shouted in unison.  
"Weren't you trying to seduce me or something?"  
"Oh yeah.... Well, we can see that you are troubled young man. We have a friend who can help you with this problem."   
"Who?"  
"Come with us, and you'll see." hissed Kaoru.  
  
Sano was led into the lair of the redheaded witch. Kenshin, the seawitch, sat on his throne made of fish bones and crab shells. He leaned his head against his left hand and lazily looked at Sanosuke. His purple eyes nearly looking through Sano's soul. This guy was creepy. No doubt about it.  
The two eels had left Sano's side and slithered their ways between and around Kenshin's arms. It was about five minutes of akward silence before Kenshin began to talk.  
"So, you love humans?"  
"I do!" stuttered Sano, obviously frightened.  
"A certain one you love?"  
"Ah...well....I..."  
"Okay so you do. No problem at all. You just have to become a human."  
"Become a human!?"  
"Yeah."  
"How do I do that?"  
"Simple, Sweetlips. I'll give you a few certain potions, and you sign this contract and you'll be a human in no time!"  
Yahiko and Tsubame had followed Sano to the cave and was peeking through the entrance of the cave at this transaction. Tsubame had to shove some seaweed in Yahiko's mouth to keep him from screeching at Sano.  
"Okay, okay. Potions I can understand, but a contract? What's on this contract!?"  
"Simple stuff, it basically says that if in three days you get your to admit he loves you then you can be a human forever, but if you don't then.......yoursoulismineforeverandever." Kenshin trailed off.  
Sano blurted,"What!? What'dya say at the end!?"  
"Oh it's of little importance Cutey. Oh...there's one other thing. For this to work you have to give me something."  
"You don't want me to fuck you do you?"  
"Heavens no my dear boy! ....Although that sounds like a better thing than what I'm asking for. At any rate. I need you to give me...YOUR VOICE!"  
"What the FUCK!? My voice!?"  
"Yes, its all here in the contract."  
"Hmmm....Hmm.....this sounds risky but what's life without some risk ne? Okay I'll sign!" Sano grabbed for the fishbone quill.  
Yahiko spit the seaweed out of his mouth and shouted. "SANO NO DON'T! YOU STUPID IDIOT!"  
But it was too late. Sano already signed the contract.  
Instantly, his body began to twitch. His throat glowed as his voice was taken and put into a tiny bento box Kenshin had open. Sano body bent over and he gasped for air.  
Yahiko shouted"He's not a mermaid anymore! He can't breathe underwater!"  
Tsubame grabbed Sano by his bandana and drudged him up from the depths of the ocean. Sano nearly didn't make it, but he did!   
He hacked up some water as he broke surface and Tsubame swam Sano to shore. Leaning back against a rock he looked over his new lower half. Then he began to scream. Well, scream as best he could. It wasn't exactly screaming since he had no voice. More like look of fright, open mouthed, flailing of the arms.  
'What the hell! I have three legs!!! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!'  
"OOOOOOIII GUPPY!!!!" A familiar voice screeched out over the winter sky. Remember its winter, Hajime's birthday is January 1st. Sano flipped his head up to look at the seagull flying down to perch on one of Sano's knees.  
"Eh? You look funny, now don't tell me I'll get it. Um....umm....new bandana?"  
"You idiot. Sano's not a mermaid anymore! He's a human now!"Yahiko shouted at Misao.  
"WHAT!? WOAH! Hey but why do you have three legs?"  
Sano's shoulders shivered up and down in laughter. Then he heard familiar voices. It was Okita and Hajime, taking a fun little stroll down the beach. Sano tried to get up but his fresh new legs were still wobbly. So he fell belly first onto the rock he was leaning against.   
"Maybe he could stand better if his third leg was as long as the rest" Misao mentioned.   
"It's big enough" replied Tsubame.  
Anyway, Saitou saw the spikey haired kid trying to stand up and shouted.  
"OH HEY WOAH! You're all sorts of naked there!"  
Sano just flashed a nervous smile as he tried to conceal himself behind the rock.  
"Here sir. Take my shirt, it'll make you feel less naked because you won't be naked." "Brilliant logic, Okita." "Thank you, Hajime-sama."  
Sano scrambled to get the shirt on but got his head stuck in the sleeve. He flailed his arms about and would be screaming. 'AAHH! HELP ME I'M SCARED!' he screamed in his head.  
Hajime adjusted Sano's shirt and caught a glimpse of Sano's tan little ass shining brightly in the noon day sun. He wanted to giggle but thats not proper actions for a prince.   
Once Sano's head emerged from the shirt, which was actually slightly too small for him so Okita had to take off his jacket to cover Sano's crotch, Hajime thought Sano looked familiar.  
"Do I...know you?" Sano nodded his head like crazy.  
"Oh? From where?" Sano then proceeded to do hand motions of him swimming down grabbing his other hand bringing it up then pushing his hands together then his right hand swimming off. After his pantomime Sano gave one of his biggest smiles.   
Hajime just looked at him. Baffled, this kid was obviously a loony. But a cute loony,"Okita, lets take this kid back to the castle. We can get him some clothes so you can have yours back." "'Kay"  
As Hajime and Okita led Sano back to the castle Sano tried his damnest to insist that they knew each other. Unfortunately, Sano is a horrible pantomime.  
  
Sano was viciously attacked by servants off all different kinds, dressing him in uncomfortable clothes and shoes and all this stuff. And he had just got the hang of walking right. Tsk tsk.  
At any rate, Sano looked lovely and it was about time for dinner. The poor guppy was all sorts of hungry. One doesn't turn human and meet the love of their life in one day without getting a bit of a rumbly in your tumbly.  
Okita showed the Princess to a long dining hall and showed Sano to his seat, right next to Hajime. At one end of the table sat a beautiful, short woman, Queen Tokio. Around the table sat other officals, eating their salads and fruit and drinking their wine. Sano really liked the wine. He was getting a bit tipsy. Finally the entree was served.  
Sano gasped in shock and disgust. They served lobster and salmon. Sano looked at Hajime and gave him the "HOW COULD YOU!" glare and ran off. He stumbled three times as he ran. But he ran by god.  
Hajime sat for a minute staring at where the roosterhead had run off. Then he excused himself from the table and followed Sano to his bedchamber.  
  
Sano was crying into his pillow,'I can't believe it! Papa was right! Humans ARE horrible. I wanna be a mermaid again! I hate it here-'  
His thoughts quickly were erased as he felt a soft hand touch his back and graze its way down to the small of his back. He looked over his shoulder as Hajime climbed onto the bed. 'Okay, so maybe ...being a human isn't all that bad. At least I know that's not a leg afterall.'  
  
First day was finished. Kenshin watched from his ball, laughing at the scene before him. The two lovers just going at it. Sano attempting to wail with passion but not.  
  
Second day, Hajime decided to take Sano out for a day in the town. To show him, the lovely little people of his kingdom. First stop, a little bakery that sells the best eclairs. Only the best for Hajime's castaway.   
Sano wolfed them down like a ravenous pig. He had chocolate all over his cheeks which Hajime lovingly wiped away with a 'kercheif.  
Then they went on a gondola ride. Sano had already learned today that a fork is not a comb, but a tool used for eating. And that a sword,like the one Hajime had hanging from his right, was not used to push the gondolas. And that the bubblegum case was actually used for cigarettes.   
Which Sano found out by putting a stick of bubble gum in Hajime's cigarette case. Much to Hajime's amusement.  
But back to the gondola ride, the gondolier was named Hiko, and it glided down the city river streets. No we're not in Venice. There just happens to be a river going through a few of the streets.  
Anyway, Sano looked over the side of the boat and saw Tsubame swimming next to the boat. He nearly had a shit fit. He MISSED Tsubame. He waved then turned back to Hajime, who was looking at Sano as if he had two heads.  
They got off the gondola ride and had lunch, Hajime making sure not to order ANYTHING sea related, lest Sano have a hissy fit again.  
After lunch, they went on a boat ride. The sun was setting and reflecting off the light, making Hajime's gold eyes seem to glow. Sano was getting fidgety in his seat. Hajime leaned over close to Sano's ear and began to whisper,  
"I...lo-"  
KERSPLASH!!!!  
The boat was knocked over by the two eels Kaoru and Megumi. Misao was watching from a perch on a tree. She started chasing after the eels over the water trying to dive bomb them.  
The couple were standing in the shallow water, Sano was about to have a piss fit over how his clean, nice, BORROWED, clothes were ruined. He made a frowny face as he looked at Hajime.   
"Maybe....we should get out of these wet clothes."   
Sano blushed like crazy but didn't object a second when Hajime threw him onto the sand of the bank.  
  
Kenshin was near pulling his hair out. "TOO CLOSE TOO CLOSE GAAAH!!!! FUCKIN FUCK OUT! TOO CLOSE!! Alright, thats it. Prince fucking CHARMING puts out too much. Time to take matters into my own hands."   
He picked up the bento box, did some groovy incantations and transformed himself into what we shall call, Harada.  
Looks exactly like Sano, only with a ponytail.   
He wiggled his way up onto the beach where Hajime usually took his strolls.   
'Hnn...now what would that idiot do to get Prince Mantis Face's attention.'   
Then he saw two big rocks. He moved them onto his leg as he lay down in the sand.   
Clearing his throat,"*ahem*....FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK OOOOWWCHIE SUNUVABITCH OW OW OW HELP! THIS FUCKING ROCK HAS ME CAUGHT! SHIIIIT! I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!"  
Without fail, Hajime ran right up to the 'damsel in distress'. "AH! It's you! The one who saved me."   
He moved the rocks off of Harada's leg and helped him to his feet.  
"Ah I remember you, I saved you from that storm. Do you remember?"   
"YES! Marry me!"  
"Wow, you're forward....but OKAY!"  
  
Sano came from his room, knowing Hajime was back from his usual walk. He went down to the parlor, but stopped in the hall when he heard HIS VOICE! He gripped one of the pillars and looked down at a complete replica of himself!   
Poor Sano nearly tore down the pillar when he heard that Hajime was arranging a marriage of him and this 'HARADA' the very next day. THE THIRD DAY!  
  
The third day arrived, Harada refused all attempts of sleeping with the Prince the night before, as he claimed he wanted to be a 'virgin flower' on that ever so special night. HAH! Kenshin just didn't want to have to actually touch the prince.   
The wedding was to take place on the luxury ship SS Tokio. It was all rigged up with all the works. Use your imagination people.  
Setting up the ship took nearly all day and it was way into the afternoon when the wedding would take place.  
Misao was flying happily around the coast, he had heard Hajime was engaged and KNEW it would be her little guppy. She flew past the window on the ship and looked in to what she THOUGHT was Sano-chan. She screeched when she saw it was someone else.  
"THAT FLOOZY! HOLY WAIT A MINUTE!" Harada passed a mirror and the reflection showed a short red headed man giggling to himself as he carried a bento box. "AAAH FUCK A DUCK! ITS THE SEA WITCH!" And Misao was off to tell the poor Sano.  
  
'Oh well, no shit Misao.' frowned Sano at his birdy friend.  
"Well GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" she pecked at his forhead. "If you don't your soul will belong to the seawitch and you'll never get to have wild monkey sex with Hajime again!"  
'Hmm...you make a good case' Sano thought then stood up. He looked around the dock and saw a tiny fishing boat with a tall skinny woman in it. Her name was Tae.  
Sano jumped into the boat. Lifted Tae up and set her on the dock, screaming about how her fishing boat was being stolen. Sano rowed the boat as fast as he could to the ship while Misao flew on ahead.  
She dive bombed Harada in his white tux. Pecking at his face and clawing his neck, and being a general pain in the ass.  
Finally, Sano climbed up over the side of the ship and onto the deck.  
Harada dropped the little bento box he was holding and is skittered open.  
Sano screamed as his voice was given back. "YEAH!!! I CAN TALK AGAIN!!!  
Hajime looked at Sano and then back at Harada who was now screaming in a femmy voice.  
"OOOH I get it. Thats a sea witch."  
"YEAH NO SHIT SHERLOCK!! And...you're too late."  
At that moment, the sun set its last ray's behind the horizon and Sano fell to the deck, once again a mermaid.  
"HAHAHAHA VICTORYYYYY!!!" Screamed Kenshin who had thrown off the Harada disguise. "TOO BAD FOR YOU MANTIS FACE! THE PRINCESS IS MINE!!!"  
With that Kenshin grabbed Sano around the waist and dove into the water. Hajime rushed to the side and looked down at the water.  
"Well, Son Of A BITCH!!!!"  
  
"HAHAHAHAH Little one! You're MINE now! I'm gonna use you as BAIT for Sagara!!! I'll get his crown and rule over the seas like the evil bitch I am!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" joined in the two eels swimming at his sides.  
"I'm not little you queerbait" and Sano jammed his elbows into Kenshin's stomach.  
Kenshin hardly lost grip of Sano at all, but stopped as he was confronted by one PISSED King Sagara.  
"What in the HELL are you doing with my daughter, and SANO! Where the HELL have you been the past two days!?"the King roared.  
"Papa I think that's hardly important right now."  
"NO NO NO! You always shun me! You tell me what happened!"  
"You wanna know what happened!? Your son is a whore who made it with a HUMAN! Now he's in love but he belongs to me cause of this contract HERE! SEE!? Read it! Its all in there." Kenshin barked handing Sagara the contract.  
Sagara took out his glasses and read over the scribe on the parchment. He looked up and stared at Sano. "So you gave it up to a human? Shame on you, you're not even married."  
Sano let out a bitchy sigh,"Papa, I think the important thing here is that you save me? Right?"  
Kenshin blurted in"THATS RIGHT! You have to save your daughter! You give me the crown and power to your kingdom and I'll give you back your kid!"   
"You assumed I'd take that used goods back into my kingdom? Remember I have another daughter."  
"PAPA!"  
"I was just kidding fine here take my crown and the power to my kingdom. Sheesh."  
As soon as the crown was on Kenshin's head he threw Sano at Sagara. But Sagara had withered away into a little glowing yellow ball and was placed in another bento box.  
"HAHAHAHAHA! I RULE!!! OW! WHAT IN THE HELL!?" Kenshin screamed as a harpoon sliced against his arm.  
"BAH! Hajime is an idiot. Like a harpoon is gonna stop the sea witch." Sano muttered. But never the less this seemed like a good chance for Sano to fight against Kenshin.   
He grabbed Megumi and Kaoru by the tail and swung them into Kenshin's head.  
"OW! WHAT THE CRAP!"  
"Eh....SAVE ME HAJIIIMEEEE!!!" Sano swam as fast as he could for the surface.  
  
Hajime was waiting on a hunting boat waiting to throw another harpoon, when Sano leaped outta the water and into the boat.  
"Did I get him?"  
"Nope! And he's all sorts of pissed now."   
"So is he coming to the surface?"   
"No doubt."  
At that very moment Kenshin leaped outta the water, hell's fury in his eyes.  
"Simple enough."  
Hajime unsheathed his sword and sliced Kenshin in two.  
"OH! What a CRAPPY way to die! The author sucks!"  
"HEY! It was either that or ram you with the ship!"  
"baaah..."  
And kenshin met his dismal end. Sagara was restored to normal, and Sano jumped back into the sea. Leaving Hajime alone on his boat.  
  
As Hajime rowed back to shore he saw Okita waiting for him. "AHOY! No Sano with you?" Hajime shook his head.  
Ah but Sano WAS there. He watched the scene of his beloved and his dear friend on the shore, as he lay his cheek against the warm rock he was lying against.  
Sagara was not far off from his daughter with Yahiko perched on his head.  
"Whats wrong with him Yahiko?"  
"He likes the one with the gold eyes."  
"Really? That much? He's acting like a sap."  
"Yes well he fell hard for him. How 'bout, you turn Sano into a human, cause he's gonna be hell to live with if you don't. You wont have to worry. You still have Katsu."  
"'Spose your right"  
Sagara did a groovy incantation and Sano was once again turned into a human.  
Sano looked down and squealed as he saw his 'third leg' once again. He screamed "THANK YOU PAPAAAAAA!!!" and sloshed his way up to Hajime and Okita. Okita who moaned out in anger as he had to ONCE AGAIN, give up his shirt and jacket to cover up the stupid rooster head.  
And, they lived happily ever after and all that crap.  
  
~~~~  
DID YOU ENJOY!!? I know I did. Um, sorry disney for following your storyline almost exactly, but I really thought I improved it =D  
REVIEW ME PLEEEEASE!


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